Relationships & Communication Skill

6 Reasons To Wait To Have Sex

2009-10-18T10:37:00.000-07:00

Here are reasons to wait:

It Filters Out The Jerks

A friend of mine recently told me that she ran into a guy she had gone out with a few times and the two of them decided to meet up again. They ended up at his place and he started putting the moves on her, and he got to the point of begging her to have sex with him even though she continued to tell him "no". Eventually, she made it out of the apartment and, despite the awkwardness of their date, she wanted to keep seeing him at least as friends. However, when she contacted him, he told her that he didn't think it was going to work out.

Witholding sex is the easiest way to see if a guy is only in it for the sex. If you don't have sex with him and he's just in it for the sex, he'll move on to someone else, and he'll most likely disappear. Maybe waiting will increase your chances of losing a guy, but why would you want to be with someone who was impatient with sex anyway?

You'll Know Each Other More, So It Might Be Better

It may be a novel idea, but the more you know someone, the more comfortable you are with them. I've never had the pleasure of having sex with someone who I knew as a best friend, who I felt comfortable with, and was on my wavelength. I bet having sex with someone after you've realized you're compatible in every way is an amazing experience.

It Builds Tension

While you're going on dates, and getting closer, the tension builds. You both know sex will eventually happen, but you don't know when. With each passing day, the desire and anticipation gets more intense. Isn't this more fun than a random drunk fling?

A Well-Timed Peak Is A Good Peak

It's never good to peak too soon. When this happens, you might burn out. I'm guilty like everyone else when it comes to vices and pleasure: I am so impatient that I get annoyed at the one second patch of silence while my iPod looks for a selected song. When I'm at a nice dinner and stuff my face too fast, it's not as pleasant as when I pace myself and enjoy my meal. Sex can be the same way: if you do it at the right time, then the relationship has a good pace.

One Night Stands Rarely Result In Calls Back

I can't stress enough that after a one night stand, I never call a girl back. In addition to the too early peak, whether it's fair or not, I have slightly lowered respect for a girl (and myself) after a one night stand. None of my guy friends have ever called a girl back after a one night stand, unless they plan to have a purely sexual relationship going forward.

You Can Always Go Forward, But You Can Never Go Back

This is the reason that so many Lifetime movies include that woman crying in the corner of the shower scene. They want to wash away that horrible man and the mistake that they made. While sex is tempting, if you can wait it out, you can avoid regret and mistakes. You can always have sex with a person when the time is right, but you can never erase a mistake. And these mistakes can set you back in dating.

Have you ever had a relationship that was destroyed by poorly timed sex? Do you agree that waiting is always good? What other reasons do you have to support waiting? Is there ever a reason not to wait?

Finding Love With Relationship

2008-09-03T23:33:00.000-07:00

Mom and dad are in the kitchen roaming about with dad swigging down his last drop of coffee and mom tidying up after the kids have ate and rushed off to school. The two kiss each other as they rush out the door heading off to work. Mom heads one direction, dad goes another direction, and finally they both meet their destination.

At work, the hours go by and tasks are completed, but as mom sits at her desk, her mind begins to wonder. “What do I cook for supper?” she thinks. Her mind continues racing as she recalls the Parent Teachers Conference the following week. Mom now has to find time off work to join the meeting, and hopes that her children are doing well in school. When she arrives home, she cooks, cleans and finds time to relax after a busy schedule. Dad has already hit the couch watching the latest news, while the kids are in their room doing homework.

A common relationship is ongoing, and the next week mom makes the Parent Teacher Conference all to find that her children are failing in school. She thinks, “Have I encouraged my children enough?” Mom begins to blame her self, and when she arrives home anxious to talk with her husband, she finds him absence. Dad had to work late again to meet his deadlines, so she calls the office where dad works and dad is not answering the phone. Later that evening dad comes home. The kids are in bed and mom is sitting aimlessly staring into the space, when dad says, “Hi honey, how was your day?”

Mom frustrated and confused snaps, “How was your day.” Dad shoots her a curious look and says, “I am sorry honey, I had to work late again.” Mom shots back with a hint of anger, “Why didn’t you answer the phone when I called.” She walks up to her husband and smells a reek of alcohol on his breath. “You worked late, huh,” she stammers with a hint of “yea right.” Dad stares for a moment and says, “Ok, I did stop off for a few drinks at the local tavern, I was only there for an hour, I swear.” Mom stares haplessly at him for a moment and turns on her heals, storming out of the room.

What do you think will happen next? As we can see we have love and relationship, and a family arrangement, but something is missing to make this relationship stand. We can review the scenario together to see which elements needed to make this relationship solid. In the first scene, family arrangement is in tact since it takes two to work to make ends meet. Thus, the parents are readying for work, while the children are heading off to school. Mom has done her job in preparing breakfast, and kissing dad as he rushes off to work.

Mom has also attended the meeting, and adhered to her motherly and spouse duties, and has worked at her job. Would it help if dad helped her along in the kitchen and around the house, since mom has two jobs? Yes, it would help. Still, this is only one of the elements to make a relationship stand. Sharing is always a good thing in love and relationships. When two people share, it brings them together.

Mom has emotions that are instigating trouble, since she is blaming her self for her children’s failure, and shows those emotions when dad comes home with the reek of alcohol on her breath. Dad doing as he pleases, would not like it if the tables turned.

Obviously, mom is feeling frustrated and appears to take it out on dad, which makes him think or readers believe that mom is emotional. However, mom expressed her feelings with assertiveness and disagreement; still she stormed out of the room, leaving the conversation hanging in the air. We see a lack of communication in this family, since from the beginning of the story to the end; we did not hear communication between the children, mom or dad. We also need respect to make this relationship stand.

Source: http://www.loveandrelationship.info/finding_love_with_relationships.htm

Friends in Love and Relationships

2008-06-24T08:40:00.000-07:00

Friends are a form of relationship built on different types of love. When man and woman joins in love and relationship, intimacy labors throughout the arrangement, however in friendship a different type of intimacy exists that makes the relationship work. Friendship, as intimate relationships work with the exception that sex is not in the arrangement in some instances. Some friends join in friendship and later commit to sexual relations, thus leading to commitment or else separation.
Friendships that are long lasting usually have the ingredients to make the relationship work. Friends may cause each other agitation, frustration, or unintentional harm down the road in the relationship, yet the two will work together to make it work by finding a resolve.
Friendship is a form of commitment between two or more people, and often friends join in activities, entertainment, and communication. True friends will prove true to the end of the relationship. Friends will not interfere with each other’s life, unless the friend sees the need to address an issue that is causing the friend harm, or in the making of causing him/her harm.
True friends in love and relationships will not hold back any punches when addressing issues with friends. While the friend will not hold back any punches, he/she will use consideration of the person’s feelings and emotions when addressing issues. Friends have your back, which is a symbol of love displayed on their part, and friends that endure throughout the trials and tribulations of the relationship, show love since long-suffering and self-control are visual.
Friends in love and relationship may fight at times, but both parties will apologize for his/her part that instigated the disagreement. Friends will tell you when you are wrong, thus again not holding back any punches, while considering you.
Friends that develop into intimate relationships, often work through the arrangement regardless of the storms laid on their plates. Friendship before intimacy is smart, since the two have an overview of the others behaviors, habits, personality, skills, et cetera.
Love and relationships built on true friendship will last through habits, behaviors, personality flaws, et cetera, providing violence or repeated actions of inconsideration and disrespect is ongoing.
When mates disrespect each other, or show inconsideration ongoing, thus, the relationship will fail, since friendship, love and elements that compose love are lacking.
Disrespect expands further than most people think. Thus, learning beliefs, traditions, and standards is smart when considering love and relationships. Thus, starting out as friends will help you see through the person’s behaviors, habits and personality, what makes him or her up as a person. The makeup of the person will include an insight of standards, traditions, and beliefs.
Beliefs are tricky, since nowadays standards are lower than ever, thus beliefs are often overlying inconsistency and dishonesty. When a person has lack of evidence to support their beliefs, thus faulty thinking is underlying the mind.
Beliefs are either concrete or superficial. To convince me that a person is worth my time, the person better have some realness in light. Thus, superficial beliefs rarely stand firm, thus the person is obviously heading in the wrong direction, and thus the relationship may or may not last.

2008-02-16T07:37:00.000-08:00

You Probably Never Knew

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you isbecause they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on

the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe

in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.They say it takes a minute to

find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

nday

5 Ways to Kill Your Relationship

2008-01-29T04:03:00.000-08:00

5 Ways to Kill Your Relationship

The list of things that can happen to harm one's relationship is staggering, but probably the most unbelievable thing about it is that nearly everything that regularly causes couples to break up is, simply put, STUPID. At least 95% of relationship issues are totally avoidable with a little common sense, loyalty, and integrity, and you can see that by looking at the following 5 most common culprits for relationship death.

1) Being unfaithful (a.k.a. CHEATING).

This is the most disgusting and unforgivable offense, in my opinion. Traditionally thought of as happening when a guy can't keep his pants on, more and more women are having trouble having the human decency to be loyal to the ones they love.

2) Being demanding and controlling.

Everybody's probably seen at least one comedy movie where a happy-go-lucky guy is assaulted by his ogre of a woman, who can't seem to let go of the leash long enough for him to walk into the kitchen. Sure, silly facial expressions and overemphasized gestures make you laugh, but inside you know there's a part of you that's thinking "I'm so glad that's not ME getting a phone call every 10 minutes asking where I am." Well, don't make your partner that person...if boys and girls can't get along and trust each other, there's not much point in even having a relationship at all. Have a little trust.

3) Not providing the emotional support your partner needs.

I know, it's another movie cliche, this one usually in "chick flicks." We've grown so used to seeing it in movies that we often don't recognize it happening in real life or understand its impact on those we love. Having the love of your life not seem to really care about how you feel is a horrible thing that can cripple self-esteem in some people and really set others off. This can mostly be avoided just by listening to your partner, truly listening. Both guys and ladies need to feel like they matter to their partners, so don't let down the one you care about.

4) Letting fights get out of their role.

Whenever two people are stuck together for extended periods of time, even if those people love each other desperately and passionately, there are going to be clashes where one person feels one way and the other a different way...that's life, that's relationships. It can even be healthy to clear the air sometimes, but when you let a fight expand outside the boundary of being helpful, it starts really harming your relationship. Don't just shrug off your partner's concerns, but don't take fights too seriously either. Oh, and a tip for making fights a little less impactful: give in every now and again. ;)

5) Lack of "zest" in a relationship.

I'm not talking about craziness in the bedroom here, I'm talking about enjoying each other and the time you spend together, keeping things active and loving your lives together. Boredom and lack of spontanaeity is a deadly threat to relationships that's been on the uptrend lately, and nothing makes me sadder than when I hear of a couple that was beautiful for each other and loved each other deeply just kind of dissolving because there wasn't much there anymore. Stay creative with your love, and make every day you're with your partner as much of a blessing as it should be.

Comunication Skill

2008-01-29T03:57:00.000-08:00

Communication Skills

Using communication skills effectively includes the use of listening skills when you are communicating by talking with another person.
Here's an example: I, a white-skinned person, asked a brown-skinned stranger in southern California to move his ladder away from an office door. I spoke to him in English and he responded by looking puzzled and saying nothing. Then, in fractured Spanish, I asked him if he understood me. He shook his head to communicate "no." I responded with gestures and more fractured Spanish. He finally understood that I wanted him to move his ladder, which he did.
This fragment of an interaction illustrates that listening skills includes "listening to" nonverbal communication.
The fragment also illustrates another point about the communication skill of listening--the importance of assessing whether your messsage is being received.

Improving Communication Skills oooooooo

When I am talking to someone and her eyes glaze over, I sometimes will say to myself:
"Maybe she's not interested in listening to the subject I am talking about"
"Maybe she doesn't understand what I am saying and is hesitant to ask for clarification.

"If her nonverbal cues suggest she is not interested, I might, for example:
pause so as to give her an opportunity to speak about a subject in which she is interested.
say "What do you think?"
say "What's been happening with you lately?"
say "Shall we change the subject?"

Relationships & Communication Skill

2007-10-30T10:27:00.000-07:00

The fundamentals of your personal magnetism andrelationships need to constantly be revisited,practiced, and maintained because I bet that you'reeither not doing them at all or doing them that well. People may want advanced communication skills, butoften, all they need are the fundamentals.

Here are 3 powerful fundamentals to improve yourrelationships (Beware of that! Relationships! Theseare communication skills that are just as useful - ifnot more useful - with your partner and those closeto you. Keep that in mind as your read the principlesbelow.)

1. Be Interested In People

This isn't just a social skill, it's a fundamentalrelationship skill. Get interested in your partner'slife. Get interested in your coworkers hobbies. Getinterested in your child's sport.

2. Make People Feel Important

Admire other's accomplishments, compliment them,and do other things to make them feel important. Successfully making a person feel important is notjust stroking the person's ego, but it is also showsthem that you acknowledge their efforts. It showsthat you care.

3. Be Comfortable With Yourself

Being comfortable with yourself has severalelements. It includes, but not limited to, being ableto laugh at yourself, having good self-esteem andconfidence, having composure, and other things that. The person can be aggressive towards others,frustrated, and generally uncomfortable withonself.

Most of these principles are applied to a socialcontext. That is, they relate to popularity,conversation skills, and being a more social person.However, I encourage you to see the principle'sapplication in your personal relationships.

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nday